Hello, beautiful

No, this is not going to be a blog about David Ault. Though I suppose he figures into it a bit considering it is his catchphrase. They're going to put it on his tombstone, I swear. Anyway, this is more a blog about me and the two people I work for.

I work for this elderly couple, the Starkeys. He's 85 and she just turned 82 a few weeks after i started working there. She has had altzheimer's for 10 years now and is pretty much gone mentally. There's nobody home. She can feed herself but she has problems following the simplest instructions. She's skinny as can be - even skinnier than me and I didn't think that was possible. She doesn't do much but sit in her little chair and rock back and forth talking to herself. She can't even dress herself or decide she should go potty. You have to put the clothes on her and sit her on the pot. She forgot how to use silverware and now eats with her hands. She's very much a child again. I talk nice to her though and am always telling her how wonderful she is.

That's where "Hello, beautiful" comes in. I say that whenever I walk in the door and she's in her chair or when I get her up from naps to have lunch or take a bath. It's always "Hello, beautiful." And she is. It never was a conscious thing on my part. I mean I listen to Vegas and David's in Gaia and Rene's my sidekick so it's probably stewing in the back of my mind along with all the other bazillion things spinning around but it works.

Yet, she's still beautiful. She's so sweet and uncomplaining and when you look at her you can't help seeing what a beautiful woman she once was. And I watch her husband with her. They're so sweet and have been married so long. He's taken care of her - mainly by himself until very recently when I was hired to come in and help. We haven't talked about it but I can imagine how hard it's been on him to just watch her fade away til there's pretty much nothing left of her. It's really sad.

But what is even sadder is that we found out about a month ago that her breast cancer's back. Yup, she's dieing. I noticed the lump when I first started working there and I just thought it was scar tissue from the masectomy she'd had. But then a month or two after I started working there it started bleeding cause she would always rub at it (she's too far gone to know not to) and we took her to the Doctor. The Doc took one look at it and said it was breast cancer. We've been to various specialists but there's nothing to be done. Radiation isn't an option cause she just couldn't be trusted to cooperate and stay still long enough for it to work. She'd move and get zapped in the wrong place. Pills won't work cause she doesn't know enough not to spit them out. And the lump is too huge and deep rooted for an operation. And, she's 82... It's too much for her system and at this point since she's not in pain it's almost kinder to let her fade away.

Another sad thing is these folks haven't had a holiday season in a decade. No XMas or Thanksgiving with their family. They HAVE no family cept a Son in law and granddaughter who pretty much want nothing to do with them and haven't even bothered coming by since the cancer came back. Not even a phone call. They certainly don't bother sending XMas cards. That just made me so damn mad. This old guy takes such good care of her and she's so sweet and beautiful and no Xmas in 10 YEARS?! Heh. No way in hell that's happening this year. I'm sort of the adopted granddaughter and pretty much the closest thing to family. So, by God they will be having a holiday season this year - especially since it looks to be their last together. My Mom and I are going to make them a Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings to take over. I'm going to get out my army of twinklie lights and XMas dcorations as well as a little tree we have and I'm going to make their house beautiful and get them each an XMas present. And they'll have an XMas dinner and I'll go over Xmas morning. I'll be playing XMas music too. Xmas is a big thing for me and I want to make this holiday season really special. It's almost like in The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe when Lucy says "No Christmas in a hundred years?" How horrified she was. Well, now I know how she feels and they are NOT sitting at home alone in that house with nothing special this holiday season. No way in the world.

I go there three days a week and tell her "Hello, beautiful." She giggles and says thank you and we waltz over to the kitchen table for lunch. She is beautiful even now. Beautiful where it matters the most - inside - and she always will be.