Well, this past long New Years weekend was pretty much the worst of my life. Being away from home, nothing going on really in Seoul that I could easily get to, combined with something else that I'm not going to talk about (so don't ask) to send me into a pretty bad depression for a few days. But a few things happened on Saturday that helped perk me up again. One I can't talk about as it is sort of Top Secret. The other is I finally told a good friend some things I had been wanting to say for a year now. What a relief!
The depression finally left completely (well almost. There's still a drop or two left) when I looked out my window and saw snow falling. I then got rather perky as I walked through the streets to school this morning in the middle of an Edinboro-style snowstorm. There was about 6 inches of snow coming down and even more is falling now, two hours later. All but 4 of my morning class students are gone and most of my kinderpeons haven't showed up either. I was hoping all of my one kindergarten class wouldn't show cause that would have meant I didn't have to teach three classes but even a load of only two of them is nice considering they are usually a BEAR of a class sometimes.
So, now, I am quite perky again. I REALLY needed this snowfall. I love snow. A snowy winter is my favorite season of the year. Give me a thick snowfall where the trees are covered in it and the branches look like fine white lace and I am on cloud 9. Once Thanksgiving comes I am ready to have snow on the ground and not have it leave until February is over. By that time I'm ready to have spring come again. I hate winters where there is little or no snow. It's so brown and grey and blah then. And it seems so much colder without snow. Snow changes everything. It turns the blah into a magical fantasyland and makes everything seem warm and wonderful no matter how cold it really is.
I walked to work with a big grin on my face and laughed to see people on their way to work carrying umbrellas to keep off the snow - not something you commonly see back home. There were snowplows and people shoveling snow off the sidewalks and storefronts. Though they didn't do too good a job on the roads or the sidewalks since the roads had a decent load of snow on them causing traffic to move to a crawl of maybe 5-10 mph and there was only a thin path to walk on the sidewalks with snow on both sides. But it was gorgeous. The trees had a full load of snow (and by stopping to brush off some books and tests I managed to narrowly avoid getting a complete avalanche of snow falling onto my head from some pines above) and their branche were like lace and popcorn. It was cold but not too cold and I got pleasantly winded and thirsty from running through it (snapping pictures at every opportunity like a tourist) to school. I got a bun at the bakery (the bakery lady knows my order by heart now and always hurries to get me one the moment I get in the door) and hurried to school.
Needless to say I have been bouncing around the school like one of those winter fairies from Disney's Fantasia dancing to the Nutcracker suite. I've got my neighbor Josh who sits next to me grumbling at me cause he's so blah and glum. If I try too hard to cheer him up I might make an enemy for life. Hehehehe.
A friend also said something this morning. Something to the effects of "You're only in the shadow that you cast upon yourself." He's right. So, here's my New Year's Resolution. No more being invisible. I'm going to get out there and see if I can shine somewhere outside of audiodramaland. I'm going to take Korea by storm. If I have a problem with someone I'm just going to tell them. I just have to start thinking differently and put some more effort in. I'm also not going to let anyone hurt me again like what happened over the weekend. Nobody has the right to hurt someone like that and it will NOT happen again. I'm done walking on eggs around people. I'm done being invisible. I'm done letting people make me feel bad about myself. And I'm done making myself feel bad about myself. I'm wonderful and it's time that this world started to see it. Elizabeth's not invisible and wouldn't let anyone treat her like she was. So, I'll just try thinking more like my space captain alter ego. Look out world! Here I come!
PS I just got word that there's no classes today after 3pm but we'll have to make them up on the 16th. It works cause I am seeing Avatar 3D on the 15th and Mycroft leaves home on the 17th. I get Doctor Mew this weekend and I have High Tea on the 10th. The 11th is my birthday. The rest of this month has things looking up! I'll get out there. Just wait and see!
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