Doctor Mew: A Feline Regeneration

The Doctor lay on a windowsill staring down at the black and white border collie staring at him from the floor five feet away. It was not enough that he had regenerated after that frightful business he REALLY preferred NOT to think about. BUT, to top it off, for some reason unknown to him he had regenerated into a CAT of all things. He sighed on his windowsill. The one time he was actually ginger he had paws, fur, and a tail.

Something certainly had gone wrong with this regeneration – obviously. It was incredibly hard to work his Tardis with paws and jumping all over the console. At least he had managed to fix the Chameleon circuit so that his Tardis looked like a cat carrier and even could be used like one unless he pressed the exact right spots to reveal the control room. But he hadn’t yet managed a way to actually fly it to go anywhere. So, here he was stuck as a cat in Seoul Korea with a Tardis that couldn’t fly anywhere.

He had regenerated as a kitten on the streets where he had been found by this one woman. It had taken him awhile to escape but then he had been recaptured again. Next he had become part of Animal Rescue Korea. He lived in a foster home for awhile with several other cats and a little dog before he was adopted out. There were some aspects of being a cat he rather liked – sleeping, playing, and though he would never admit it, catnip. The food was atrocious though. Three months later he was taken to another foster home and then… yesterday.

Yesterday this mad American woman with long brown hair and blue eyes had come to his foster home. He had paid close attention to her talk with his foster mother and past owner (though he would NEVER admit to being owned. The very thought was ridiculous) and it seemed she was going to take him home with her to Seoul. She even had a new name for him – Doctor Mew. Disgustingly diminutive but perhaps she was mildly psychic enough to see through to his true self. It was something to think about and she was probably worth some effort to cultivate. But, there was also the more likely possibility that she was just one of those many people who was a FAN. But living with a fan would be better than living with Scottish women who were NOT fans. He could perhaps use his touch telepathy to influence her into helping him.

So, he had been bottled into his Tardis (making sure it was completely disguised) along with some of his cat toys (including a ribbon toy he was rather fond of) and carried off. He was rather indignant at all the noise and the fact that this Elaine woman had called him fat. He was NOT fat and this entire situation was not to be born! Traveling in such a manner was NOT how it should be. If only he could get his Tardis working again. It was noisy, bumpy, smelly, and long. Plus, these cat instincts he was always having to deal with were telling him to run, run, run. Eventually, he’d exhausted himself and fell asleep pressed up against Elaine’s hand. It was possible she could be Companion material afterall.

Eventually, after two long subway rides, several walks, and the KTX train, they had arrived at the apartment. He was more than ready to get out of the Tardis and explore a bit. Only one problem, he heard barking. And it wasn’t little dog barking, it was a BIG dog. Just his luck. Fan or telepathic as she might be she had a DOG. At least, as he found several minutes later as he peeked out at the dog through the Tardis mesh door on the way to the bedroom, the dog was kept crated.

Elaine unzipped the door of the Tardis and he climbed out, rather stiffly since it had been a long trip and set out to explore the room. One of the first things he heard was a low growl and hiss from under the bed. He quickly jumped down and poked his head underneath. There he saw a black and white cat, obviously scared, cowered in the corner growling and hissing at him. Elaine was talking softly to the cat, peering under the bed herself and snapping pictures left and right. Yep, she was a fan alright.

“Good boy, Captain Jack. It’s alright,” she murmured.

Captain Jack? Could it be? No, it was impossible! He walked forwards a bit to check.
“Jack, is that you? It’s me, the Doctor! I’ve regenerated into a cat of all things. Dreadfully inconvenient, I must say. Is it really you?,” the Doctor said in cat language.

“Back strange cat or feel my claws!” Captain Jack spat, firing a warning volley.

“Ooops! My mistake then. I’ll just leave you to it, shall I? I’m here if you want to talk later. I’m the Doctor. I’m here to help. I’m not really a cat at all – or I shouldn’t be. I’m a Time Lord. Something went wrong with my regener-“

“GET BACK!” hissed the black and white cat.

“Oh alright. I’ll go explore the rest of this place instead.

The litterbox was ready. Oh how he HATED using those. No privacy whatsoever. Why did it have to be pink? He was a boy cat even though he hadn’t been able to keep them from taking him to the vet and – well, he really was trying NOT to think about it. Hopefully that was one thing that would get fixed in his next regeneration.

He was very cautious in his explorations. One thing he had learned in over 900 years of travel in space and time was it paid to be cautious cause you never knew what you would find when you stepped out of the Tardis door. He tried to ignore Elaine as she cooed over him and recorded his explorations with that camera of hers and when she tried to get him to play with cat toys. There were more important things to figure out. Like, were there aliens present…

No aliens under the desk and certainly none under the bed. It seemed safe so far… That woman liked her comfort. She uses an overstuffed leather chair as a computer chair. Computer! And a window! Time to take a good look through it. Easy as pie! Time to jump! Allons-y!

“Damn! It’s dark outside! But at least Elaine’s good enough to move the blinds so I can see out easier,” he murmured to himself. “Time to check out the computer.”

He paced over behind the computer, careful to sniff at every connection and placed his paws so as to not disturb the wires.

“Fairly basic setup, Elaine, but I can make use of this, I think,” he said, with a glance at her over his shoulder. “You really can put the camera away.” Of course, she didn’t understand him and kept filming anyway. She looked exhausted and was wearing the silliest red and black cat sweater.

“HEY!” he protested as she picked him up and clambered over the bed, almost dropping him a couple times.

“You are fat, Doctor, and shall be going on a diet,” she informed him.

“I am NOT fat!” he corrected her but she didn’t seem to hear him as she placed him up on top of her wardrobe.

“Well! This is more like it. I can see the whole room from here! Including the computer screen. I rather like this!” he exclaimed. He peered over the edge at the computer screen. There at the front was a program called Skype and on it was a name he recognized. David Ault.

“David AULT?!” he exclaimed in surprise. That was a name he had used in a past regeneration. Elaine… “Oh NO! She couldn’t be THAT Elaine. She had driven me batty! And now I am LIVING with her?! She’s definitely a fan. I had thought she looked familiar.” But that regeneration had been years back – his memories of anything before being a cat were a bit fuzzy. Two versions of him living on the planet at once… “This could be an opportunity! I know you’re not supposed to go back on your own timeline but this is an emergency!”

A quick jump off the wardrobe onto the Return key did the trick. The call was being made. “Please be there! David! Wake up! It’s me… well… you… in the future! I’m stuck as a cat! Get your Tardis over here and HELP me!”

But, it was to no avail though Elaine thought it hilarious. David was not on skype and his pleas for help went nowhere. “Gah! Will NOTHING go right?!”

The rest of the evening was spent eating wet cat food on the wardrobe top (better than kibble at least even though it was still vile), laying on ledges, using the litterbox (he could NOT believe she took pictures), and playing with toys just to appease Elaine. That’s what he told himself. He was not about to truly admit that he liked catnip and chasing after feather toys. Elaine kept on taking pictures and chatting with her friends until about one AM – including this Scottish fellow named Chris and this girl named Kelsey.

Elaine went to sleep at one. She was exhausted. Of course she brought him onto the bed with her. He fell asleep (or seemed to) by her feet for awhile. In reality he lay there contemplating his predicament and making plans. He meowed and kept meowing. Perhaps if he meowed enough with the meows being psychically augmented she would be able to understand… Oooo! He peeked at the screen. David was on! If he could wake her up and get her to call him he might get a message through. He meowed… and he meowed… And she woke up and went to the computer like always. Of course, she talked with David… but, no call.

“Blast it! I can’t get my secret message out through texts! Well, there’s always next time,” he consoled himself.

He tried his psychically augmented meows for a few more hours but, it had been a hard day and even Time Lords regenerated as cats need their rest. At about 6AM he stopped meowing, curled up into a ball, and went to sleep. Much to Elaine’s relief. This being a Companion to a Time Kitty was going to be a lot of work!